How to Pull Your Shit together PT 1
Deciding that you’re ready to take the next big step in your life is a big deal…a REALLY big deal. Whether you’re going back to school, switching careers, or leaving a job to build your empire, it’s scary.
When I was younger, I thought all I needed to do was build up the nerve to declare my plan with a serious face and then apply a ton of hard work before burning out or crying. It was horrible, exhausting and humbling. I couldn’t get anything off the ground, I looked like a flake, and felt like a loser. Back then, I didn’t have a mentor or anyone to show me the ropes and explain how to pull it all together.
It was an exhausting exercise in futility that wore on my self-esteem. I wished for an older sibling or anyone who had gone through what I was going through to just tell me what to do.
There was no questioning that I had guts. Not only did I not know what else was needed to succeed, I certainly didn’t know what to do when presented with my worst fears. Unfortunately, I know some people who literally hide under their desk when the shit hits the fan. The thought of hiding never worked for me. I had to do more, get it done, thrive, and figure out what it took to succeed. Here are some of the lessons I learned.
Some of the lessons were groundbreaking for me, others were obvious after making the same mistake over and over. Overall, I wish someone clued me in on these fundamentals.
1. The life you have was designed by you. That’s right. You did this. Good or bad, it was all you. You aren’t a victim of circumstances. Nobody forced you to make decisions that go against your values or aspirations. You studied hard or didn’t study at all. Living the life that you designed also means that you can design your future. If you’re feeling stuck, read my article on getting unstuck.
2. You're only as good as those you associate with. Success and bad habits are both contagious. Find people that you look up to, make friends and learn from them. On the other side of this advice, take a good look at who you surround yourself with. Does anyone drag you down? Make you feel bad? Waste a lot of your time? Cut them loose. A small group of good friends is better than a hundred lousy friends.
3. If you aren’t confident, you’re nothing. Face it, doubt breeds doubt. If you don’t believe in yourself, why would anyone else? It takes confidence to reach for new goals and get out of your comfort zone. People who aren’t confident get stuck in jobs they hate for years at a time, it’s more comfortable being miserable than sucking it up and being brave. Confidence is a vital building block in a beautiful career. Fully embracing it will take you places you never thought possible.
Did you know that successful people ooze confidence? It's clear that they believe in themselves and what they're doing. Success didn’t make them confident, the high level of confidence was there first.
4. It’s important to say “no” more often than you say “yes.” This one is hard to do. There is a study that came out of UC Berkeley that says that the harder it is for you to say no, the more likely you are to experience stress, burnout and depression. That isn’t going to help you at all. You’re reading this to learn how to pull your shit together. Agreeing to do things that don’t help you isn’t doing you any favors. In fact, you’re betraying your future self by avoiding saying no.
These four big life rules helped me get on the right track.
Now, go practice all of it. When you’re ready, come back and learn how to fine tune the art of pulling your shit together.